"What do you have in mind after you graduate?"
Whenever someone asks me this question, I never know what to say. There are so many ideas floating around my head about what I could do, what I'm "interested" in, but I'm not really ready to commit to any of these ideas. But at the same time, I'm feeling a lot of pressure from others that I need to know what I'm gonna do in college, or what I should be doing in college. "You should become a nurse, or a vet, or lawyer". Even though I'm interested in none of these things, my relatives have been telling me that's what I should be when I grow up.
When you're young people ask you what you want to be. And you normally reply with something you think is cool, without thinking about the issues of college and money (I mean as a child, you don't even know about these things yet). But when you're actually grown up and you have to think about these things, people just tell you want you should be doing. They don't ask you what you want to be doing.
When reading this portion of The Bell Jar, when Esther is talking about college, I was really happy because someone was actually saying exactly how I felt about college. Her mother keeps telling her she should take dictation from a successful man, or do some other menial. When someone finally asks her what she wants to do instead of just telling her, she has no real response. She's not really sure anymore. And that probably scares her, because I know that feeling scares me. Because of this I feel like I can relate to Esther. I feel justified now in answering people's questions with "I don't really know."
I think choosing a career is perhaps one of the biggest moments of coming of age. No wonder its such a huge deal in these books.
ReplyDeleteI think that finding a way to deal with the uncertainty of the future is definitely apart of coming of age and Esther's hardship allows her to do so but we all have to find or stumble into or suffer through our own way of dealing with the unknown
ReplyDeleteI think that everyone goes through this stage at least once in their life. It's not a small decision to make, so it's definitely okay to not know just yet. I think that a lot of our problems is that we compare ourselves to other people and when we see others that have already comfortably decided, we are scared that we are falling behind. I agree with you on this post because we should all be thinking about what we want to do vs what others want us to do.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with not knowing what I want to do (in college, and with my life in general). I'm afraid of making the wrong decision, I guess. But yeah, it's a huge moment in coming of age because you really have to know yourself and what you enjoy, and it's an indicator of coming of age when you're mature enough to realize you don't need all the answers at that one moment, and that it's okay.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. As we get older, people expect us to be certain things, and it's hard if you are still confused (I speak from experience). Life in a couple of years seems uncertain and kind of scary, and Esther really exemplifies the inner struggle we all sometimes feel.
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