What exactly is "coming of age"?
Believe it or not, I think about this quite often. But no matter how hard I think about it though, no matter how long I spend trying to answer this question, I can never seem to find a real answer.
In my eyes, I'm not gonna know the answer for a really long time because:
1) Coming of age tends to be different for everyone.
2) I'm not gonna know that it happened when it happens.
My perception of coming of age tends to be when one "finds" oneself. Personally, I don't know if I've found myself yet.. I don't know if the person I am right now is going to be the same person in 5 years, or 10 years, or even a week.
Coming of age really isn't a single moment... It's more of a process. It's gradual and this is why I don't think anyone is going to know exactly when it happens.
I'm never gonna know when I've truly found myself until I'm much older. I think you truly know when coming of age happens when you look back and reflect on your life. Then, you might be able to pin point a time period where you truly came of age. But until then, I think it would be really hard to know when it happens.
When I'm older I will reflect back on this blog post, if this blog even exists then, and I will remember to reflect on my life.
To my future self: I hope you've enjoyed your life thus far and I hope there is much more to come.
Interesting take on the whole coming of age idea. I definitely agree that when you come of age you don't really know it until you look back and reflect on your life. I've always thought of coming of age as a change the is perceptible to those around you, but you make a good point that coming of age has to do with the more internal idea of finding yourself. Maybe it is a combination of the two. Either way it is hard to tell that it is happening while it happens.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with the idea that one does not know when a coming-of-age occurs. Reflection on life after the fact really determines how . I often also wonder what "finding ones self" even means. Does it mean finding an innate talent and pursuing it, as Stephen eventually does? Or does it mean finding comfort and coming to terms with the life you already lead? Or maybe it happens overnight with a defining event?
ReplyDeleteThere are people who have a natural talent at certain things. You could say they have a 'calling.' But for the rest of us, finding the one thing we are good at is incredibly difficult. When I was younger I always wished for a talent and even now I wish I could have contributed to that cool 'weird talents' video that Darren put together. But in all reality, I might not ever find myself and I think coming to terms with that may be the final coming-of-age. Wow, that's actually kind of sad...
Our thoughts cross paths in regards to coming of age; that it's a process that reveals itself only in retrospect, a series of happenings that slowly shape us, and thus, our thoughts on who we are. And when we realize that we've found who we are, the path behind us once veiled in fog (as is the future,) shines behind in gentle bathing light.
ReplyDeleteOther people have discussed how coming of age is a development of how others shape you, how memory and relationships and maturity play a role, but I just can't help but think that that's not the case; that it's matter of discovering yourself, and it's only after when you realize the silent roles that everyone else had played.
I definitely agree that coming of age is something only realized upon reflection (after all, hindsight is 20/20). Ema's point is also interesting—is the entire process different for those who find their "calling" early on? I've always felt like a bit of a jack-of-all-trades: decent at many things, outstanding at none. People say I'm just "well-rounded," but sometimes I feel like I'd rather be really good at one thing than okay at a lot of things.
ReplyDeleteWhat does it mean to "find yourself"? I guess the feeling may be described by other words but we won't know until we've reached a reflective point in life. I do agree that coming of age is a process that takes time and it's difficult to gauge whether or not we have "come of age".
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